new year, same me

measuring my waistline always leads me to erratic diets. Either way i'll be driven to some vegan-slash-nothing-but-water diet.


if it's a big number(which is more commonly the case), i'd fret and cease eating. Then feel so deprived and binge at weird hours when my resolve runs out.


if it's a small number(like today), i'd gloat and bask in the glory of being an xs then overcompensate by eating 3 times my normal portion and eventually feel an immense amount of guilt. i'd start feeling antsy that my 23cm waist could and would possibly end up expanding and monitor every morsel that comes into contact with my mouth and self-judge silently. 

vicious cycle. on and on and on. fuck you bikini bridge. fuck you thigh gap.


"comme un poisson dans l'eau"