It’s getting to the edge of what could be

I can’t fight it off, I can’t fight it off.....







goodbye.

if.....

 

you're a Shar-Pei then I'm a Shar-Pei.

let me go cause i need to breathe.

paused, resume

You be my toad
And I'll be your peach
I'll follow behind you
On koopa beach
I may take a shortcut
But i'll never cheat
I promise.

No one will touch us
If we pick up a star
And if you spin out
You can ride in my car
When we slide together
We generate sparks
In our wheels and our hearts

The finish line
Is just around the bend
I'll pause this game
So our love will never end
Let's go again

The blue shell is coming
So I'll go ahead
If you hang behind
It'll hit me instead
But never look back
Cause I'm down but not dead
I'll catch up to you

Don't worry about
Bowser or DK
Just eat this glowing mushroom
And they'll all fade away

The finish line
Is just around the bend
I'll pause this game
So our love will never end
Let's go again

To the mushroom cup
And the flower cup
And the star cup
And the reverse cup

an instant cure is impossible, but over time we will get through this.

as long as

How long will I love you?
As long as stars are above you,
And longer if I can

How long will I need you?
As long as the seasons need to
Follow their plan

How long will I be with you?
As long as the sea is bound to
Wash upon the sand

How long will I want you?
As long as you want me to,
And longer by far

How long will I hold you?
As long as your father told you,
As long as you can

How long will I give to you?
As long as I live through you,
However long you say

How long will I love you?
As long as stars are above you,
And longer if I may

We're all traveling through time together
Every day of our lives
All we can do is do our best
To relish this remarkable ride

blue is the warmest colour

"I am God’s child.  My life is more than this life. These days are a vapor, a passing breeze. This will eventually pass.  God will make something good out of this. I will work hard, stay faithful, and trust Him no matter what.”

we are the reckless, we are the wild youth.

if you're still breathing, you are the lucky ones
coz most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs.

Dreamt of you yesterday. my subconscious recognized your face. it's funny as I walked towards you, I clearly remember my mind trying to recall the finer details of your face.
Your face, it morphed into one that I remember distinctly from memory.

I still feel a little lost sometimes when i think of you. I never got to see you. It feels as if you packed your bags and left in the middle of the night. It didn't feel real for a long time.
You left.
It didn't feel real even as I stood over the concrete slab with your name engraved in it.
In my dream, I went to you and clung on as a baby monkey would her mother, and I cried. You laughed then, the way you used to laugh when I related silly shenanigans.
Then you stroked my hair.



missing you.
when will this end.

comme un poisson dans l'eau

give me a double shot of perspective

been biten by the baby bug. catch myself ogling babies in the trains and facebooking babies of friends and relatives.

gone off-kilter.
what is wrong with me.
maybe it's time i took a long hiatus.
back to nature.
back to sanity.

 

good times

youth

Well I've lost it all, I'm just a silhouette
A lifeless face that you'll soon forget
My eyes are damp from the words you left
Ringing in my head, when you broke my chest
Ringing in my head, when you broke my chest

And if you're in love, then you are the lucky one
'Cause most of us are bitter over someone
Setting fire to our insides for fun
To distract our hearts from ever missing them
But I'm forever missing him

once upon a time, there were a bunch of girls who grew up(and out of their blue pinafore) and discovered...

                                                                                                                    zouk.


alas, their liberation was short-lived in lieu of growing up, as they bid farewell to electro and trance...
..
..
..
..
..
and hello to DEEP HOUSE and Drum & Bass!

The end.

the crop top; interpreted

earlier this week I had the honour of having a casual conversation with a 4 year old.
It went like this

Her: Yasmin, who bought you this?
Me: What? This? do you mean my clothes?
    I bought them myself.
Her: Then why did you buy your shirt so small?
     I can see your belly button.

hello again, monday

why do i choose to sleep at such ungodly hours on sunday, knowing bloody well how mondays normally turn out under such circumstances?

this morning i spent 15mins sorting flavours of Ghirardelli chocolate for a quick breakfast. which resulted in me being late for school. then realizing it only too late while en route to school that i had forgotten the sorted stack of chocolate, leaving it on the counter top.
late.
hungry.
frustrated.

lait entier

driven by a desperate need to satiate my cravings, i walked 2 blocks down in pjs to get milk, only to find that they only had the low-fat alternative. that's the equivalent of colouring your water with a teeny bit of chalk to get the cloudy opacity, the taste nowhere near milk.
i sit here typing with a bowlful of Special K(because of the inherent gain i acquire once i lose - Whatever that means.) drowned in cream.





in the absence of full-fat milk:

skim milk vs cream.

Cream wins!(hands down)

 

"If you could find a way, to forgive everything, I know you would. And I would take it all back, if only I knew that I could."

pleure des larmes de sang

i turn 28 today. for weeks it's felt like a looming death sentence. like the moment the clock struck 12 i'd morph into a fully-fledged adult. no more comics, no more prancing, no more idyllic unemployment, no more fun just mundane bills and responsibilities.
but guess wot, the minute passed and as 12:01 brandished my clock nothing out of the ordinary happened. just perusing online shops fredflare and sephora with my sister. beer hats and nail polishes, pool pretzels and mascaras.
it was a far cry from last year when i cried, tears streaming down my face at the prospect of blowing out 27 candles. i flatly refused. til the candles were reduced to 17. i was in denial. clearly. and might still be.
but wot i know is i've grown.
not up, but grown. 





on friday night, i walked out of the club, 'walked' being the operative word, with dignity.

"Grace is the gift of feeling sure that our future, even our dying, is going to turn out more splendidly than we dare imagine."

                                                                                              - Lewis Smedes

okay maybe i lied. i'm not as asian as far as the typical asian stereotype goes. but asian enough i guess.

maybe i'm still reeling from the 'Resubmission' shocker but i can't will my fingers nor my mind to get on with the assignment. despite efforts to switch my mobile to silent and keep it away from sight, other stimulants continue to jostle for my attention.
i've been on twitter, instagram, youtube... i've binged on prawn crackers(the squarish type you pick out from the bag of mixed nuts) and chin chow aka grass jelly drink(another asian treat). i've made dinner plans for next week, and after-dinner drinks plans.. i've cropped my FMF t-shirt with the help of my trusty scissors, altered the hem of an over sized men's shirt so that i won't come off looking trashy in it tomorrow... i've had a chat over tea with my mom about the general lack of inclusionary practices here in Singapore(we've yet to sign the CRPD which is ridiculous considering we're a first world country) and now i'm back here. ranting.

alas, i shall give up and give in to the sweet aroma of dinner brewing in the kitchen.

adieu.

i am asian. born and bred. it was just hidden under a sea of mischief for a long time. 28 years -long time- now it's decided to surface.

last week we got our transcripts for the first half of our modules. turns out my gpa thus far is 3.67 despite that one B that sent me spiraling into an emotional landmine. nearly inhaled my weight in fried chicken thanks to that B.
that lasted for a grand total of 4 days afterwhich i went back to crazy asian-study-mode.
cest la vie right? up til last night that is.. my lecturer sent me an email at 1.29am(on a saturday night, who does that?)

Subject:
Resubmission.

i went completely off tangent for my performing arts assignment.
Resubmission: the end of my short-lived asian life.

off to harakiri myself now.

cornflakes and milk

started reading despite the looming exam and assignment. some days are made for reading.

all this time spent dressing up like everyday's a party could've been used to sharpen my cognitive abilities. why, oh why do i continue to be such a ditz.

throwback tuesday

visiting an old haunt -a watering hole- gained me some enlightenment.
1) you can(and probably will) grow out of groupie-ness
somehow the same sexy-to-boot, celebrity-demi-gods aka musicians would morph into regular human beings playing tunes on their fenders.
2) same place different moment.
a place can hold memories only if you let it. moving on, gaining perspective, places and memories lose their tangibility.
3) there's only so much kegel exercises can do before beer bladder avalanches. #reserveyourjudgement






emnoseyeruoypeek

we run like parallel lines

we touch.

lately, i haven't had much to say. i compensate by furiously extricating photos that elicit my emotions for me.
there's a crack.
there's another here on the side of my laptop.
it's 5 years old.
it's 7 years old.

i still don't have tumblr.
my blackberry doesn't support instagram.
but i have you.
despite the crack.

wedding blues

when i'm dreaming, i'm gonna dream about the time i had with you.

how i spent the past 2 weeks.

regrets and mistakes (they're memories made)

"Marry your best friend. I do not say that lightly. Really, truly find the strongest, happiest friendship in the person you fall in love with. Someone who speaks highly of you. Someone you can laugh with. The kind of laughs that make your belly ache, and your nose snort. The embarrassing, earnest, healing kind of laughs. Wit is important. Life is too short not to love someone who lets you be a fool with them. Make sure they are somebody who lets you cry, too. Despair will come. Find someone that you want to be there with you through those times. Most importantly, marry the one that makes passion, love, and madness combine and course through you. A love that will never dilute - even when the waters get deep, and dark."
- missed my chance

when the sun don't shine

Galatians 6:9

^{Galatians 6:9} Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up


thank You for always dropping me these little lines that lift me up.

lua

I know that it is freezing but I think we have to walk
I keep waving at the taxis; they keep turning their lights off
But Julie knows a party at some actor's west side loft
Supplies are endless in the evening; by the morning they'll be gone.

When everything is lonely I can be my own best friend
I get a coffee and the paper; have my own conversations
With the sidewalk and the pigeons and my window reflection
The mask I polish in the evening, by the morning looks like shit.

And I know you have a heavy heart; I can feel it when we kiss
So many men stronger than me have thrown their backs out trying to lift it
But me I'm not a gamble you can count on me to split
The love I sell you in the evening, by the morning won't exist.

You're looking skinny like a model with your eyes all painted black
You just keep going to the bathroom always say you'll be right back
Well it takes one to know one, kid, I think you've got it bad
But what's so easy in the evening, by the morning is such a drag.

I've got a flask inside my pocket we can share it on the train
If you promise to stay conscious I will try and do the same
We might die from medication, but we sure killed all the pain
But what was normal in the evening, by the morning seems insane.

And I'm not sure what the trouble was that started all of this
The reasons all have run away but the feeling never did
It's not something I would recommend, but it is one way to live
Cause what is simple in the moonlight, by the morning never is
What's so simple in the moonlight, now is so complicated 
What's so simple in the moonlight, so simple in the moonlight

ideals vs reality

What i plan to eat in the morning..........

What i hope to achieve............

What i actually look like............

What i actually eat...............

how do i stay and fight when a part of me has already resigned to this fate. i can't be both fighting and accepting. pick a side, yas.

conversation with my playlist

me: "omg not this song"
next
me: "no!"
next
next
next
me: "are you kidding me??"
next
next
me: "seriously wot're you trying to do?! make me drive a stake thru my own heart.
next
next
me: "no seriously."
next
next
next
"do you wanna touch(yeah!) do you wanna touch(yeah!) do you wanna touch me there yeah yeahhhhhhh"

Aren't you somethin' to admire, cause your shine is somethin' like a mirror
And I can't help but notice, you reflect in this heart of mine
If you ever feel alone and the glare makes me hard to find
Just know that I'm always parallel on the other side

Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul
I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go
Just put your hand on the glass, I'll be tryin' to pull you through
You just gotta be strong

Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you baby, it was easy
Comin' back into you once I figured it out
You were right here all along
It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger
With anyone else beside of me
And now it's clear as this promise
That we're making two reflections into one
Cause it's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me

Aren't you somethin', an original, cause it doesn't seem merely assembled
And I can't help but stare cause I see truth somewhere in your eyes
I can't ever change without you, you reflect me, I love that about you
And if I could, I would look at us all the time

Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul
I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go
Just put your hand on the glass, I'll be tryin' to pull you through
You just gotta be strong

Yesterday is history
Tomorrow's a mystery
I can see you lookin' back at me
Keep your eyes on me
Baby, keep your eyes on me

Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you baby, it was easy
Comin' back into you once I figured it out
You were right here all along
It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger
With anyone else beside of me
And now it's clear as this promise
That we're making two reflections into one
Cause it's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me

You are you are the love of my life

Baby you're the inspiration for this precious song
And I just wanna see your face light up since you put me on
So now I say goodbye to the old me, it's already gone
And I can't wait wait wait wait wait to get you home
Just to let you know, you are

You are you are the love of my life

Girl you're my reflection, all I see is you
My reflection, in everything I do
You're my reflection and all I see is you
My reflection, in everything I do

You are you are the love of my life

it was easy coming back into you once I figured it out

So now I say goodbye to the old me, it's already goneAnd I can't wait wait wait wait wait to get you homeJust to let you know, you are
You are the love of my life.

hannah

A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace

In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out,
Lord, let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out.

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades

Never ending Your glory goes beyond all fame

In their heads and in their beds
In their eyes it shows
When the freedom breaks
And you ask and they don't know

would you like to go to Laneway with me?

"would i ever??!!"
that was my response. somewhat similar to 'would you marry me?
(and my 20Gs Tiffany's ring)'

"yes yes yes yes yes."

All photos courtesy of Estelle @ http://loveyouwrongtime.wordpress.com/

did i tell you that i'm in love with her camera? it's insane. small but packs a punch.

lit

days like these,
these sheets hold so much promise,
the air around is cool,
the contrasting warm spots,
your body contorts,
twist,
turn,
stretching and coiling,
every inch of the mattress to explore,
your toes find crevices to slip into,
varying textures stroke your skin,
pressing up against the soft pillows,
it sinks slowly under you,
you trace invisible lines on your torso,
your mind takes you places,
you stay this way.
forever.

meet the sickies

toastie and i are both under the weather. Me; gastroenteritis aka stomach flu, Him; dental.

Well long story short, his tooth grew abnormally long, went undetected and finally broke, lodging itself in the back of his mouth causing him to stop eating. Dr Lee managed to get some pieces out but his tooth is rotten so we'd prolly have to check in with the vet regularly from now on.

nasty broken tooth

the seaweed is always greener

if i could only live as a mermaid would, this is what I'd wake up to every morning.

2013

to go vegan
to do what's right