i'm in love.
not just in love but in love with a woman.
not just any woman but a china woman.

*gasp

she gives the best head/neck/shoulder massage ever. and when she washes my hair, i get to sit in not just any chair but a massage chair?!! whee!! and she's ever so gentle. i wish my josh were gifted in washing hair too. josh is gifted, rather in other ways...

it's a monday night. we went to wine bar. had 1-for1 lychee martini and a beer and a little green label. i told them only idiots start the week by opening a bottle. did they listen?
obviously yours truly isn't taken seriously after a beer. after a beer and 2 lychee martinis and some green label, they practically ignored my slurring.
just to get me through my dreary day, i've poured some green label into my water bottle for class tomorrow. hur hur..
but i'm not alcoholic.
nope.
not.

staying home for lunch today. mom's cooking fish head curry complete with fried pampodums. i'm not the biggest fan of fish head curry but i'll take a couple of bites for morale support i suppose.

josh quite liked my guacamole(4th attempt). made some for brunch yesterday. my first attempt was a disaster. my guacamole wasn't even a shade of green, it was coral?! i realised it was prolly the result of the 2 unripened avocados i blended in.
my second attempt simply didn't fall through cuz the 2 avocados i set aside to ripen, well i sorta manage to forget about them and flew off to dubai for a week. it upset mom a little when the avocados started oozing some greenish liquid over other veggies in the vegetable drawer. she unceremoniously dumped them into the trash before i could return home to salvage some.
third attempt: a success! like finally right..
mommy and i devoured a bag of nachos with my homemade guacamole while watching ip man(pronounced as eep-mun, not I-P-MAN i don't see the difference) on DVD last week.
it's got my vote. i wanted to write it off as another asian bruce lee flick but it had substantial storyline to pull it off.
hur hur..i'm gonna be damn not shy and share my(or rather it's karol's handed to me) guacamole recipe. easy-peasy. the only challenging part is getting the avocados right, i mean ripe.
Trust me.


Guacamole Recipe
2 avocados(ripe and regular-sized)
1 tomato
1 onion(small-sized big onion)
1 clove garlic
1 lime
salt & pepper

The How To
skin garlic and onion,
throw into blender with tomato, squeeze juice from lime and add salt & pepper to taste.
blend.
throw avocados in(for the benefit of bimbos -i'm not mentioning names here) without its' skin and seed.
blend til smooth.

meet my al-kaeda friend. his name's karl. on most days he's busy with work, i think he's in planning or one of those divisions, but on other nights we go out for to iguana for strawberry kiwi margaritas and catch armin @ zouk. i like!
i like my friend karl. he rides a dirt bike and if i wear really high heels and/or when i'm sober enough he let's me sit on it and pretend to ride. karl's helmet's really spiffy. it's got some hidden megatron/bumble bee(some transformer dewd) embedded into it's design.
i met karl last year on valentine's day.
we went on a safari and touched lion cubs in the afternoon. then watched russell peters and did not smoke pot. it was a memorable valentine's to say the least.
karl likes mee sua. mee sua special down @ circular road coffeeshop. his favourite supper!
i like karl. cuz karl sent me his whole harddrive of grey's anatomy season 4 and private practice. for that i am forever grateful to karl. go karl!

when i was a little girl i had such notions that when i grew up, i'd like nothing else than to be Madonna. Maddy. like a virgin.
then into my teens there were temporary fixations to become the mrs keating(ronan) or mrs carter(nick). but mostly i aspired to be rich. wifey and rich. In other words: tai-tai.
now in my 20's i'd like nothing more than to smoke pot and fornicate.

old friend: oh hello it's been awhile how've you been?
me: well thanks.
old friend: so wot do you do now? i work in a bank.
me: i smoke pot and fornicate.

you tripped on the curb, walking along hillside drive, walking to school. i remember Rachel and i laughing. you laughed along.
the short malay boy with nice hair we used to skeeze in the 854 bus on the way to school in the mornings...
how you wore your hair short and cropped at the sides.
Sunset bay. our first foam party. my first time being groped. we fell asleep at the back of the stationary van til dawn.
a picture i recently found stashed away in my sentimental drawer. intended to show it to you when you came around. that, and the cd cover you specially designed for my 15th birthday, kept in mint condition on my bookshelf.
i remember how pretty you looked in your baju kurung one year at hari raya. only you could pull off a gold baju kurung without it looking tacky.
our photoshoot at the esplanade. You; the brilliant photographer. Me; the pouty muse.
being dragged out of zouk, away from paul van dyk. you babysat me, held my hair while i puked and passed me over to adam.
Flea & Easy. my first ever. with you.
our last date. just you and me. blue jazz dinner. long walk that followed. odeon tower. macs. long talk. longer than any we've ever had.
"Dah pangsai? Babe pls tc. Dun make urself look bad withn those ppl. U will b betr. Bt dun take too long 2 b bettr. Even if u perasan forevr young. Love ya!"
you laughed, seemingly unaffected by your condition.
you were always the brave one.
you don't have to feel the pain any longer.
no more discomfort. just peace.
You, i will miss dearly.





farhana dec 1st 1983-jan 18 2009

our paths crossed like lines on a Richter scale.

"late night frog porridge
snapped inner tubing of bicycle wheel
how we managed is a wonder!
walked the way instead
looked away when White Shorts took Mr Froggie to the back
you looked on
made a face through supper
made me giggle
kept me warm
2 cushions + balcony floor
sleep crept in too fast
night was too cool
you were too perfect."

- summer nights